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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.) Dynamic risk assessment? I’ve seen zestier. ● If you work undercover for the National
Reconnaissance Office, and someone from the public tells you about a
landmark that’s so impressive it can be seen from space, I bet you
answer ‘Really? Wow, that’s amazing,’ and then you try hard not to
laugh. ● Meet singles near me? But at least three feet
away, right? ● The problem with having nothing to prove is
that you constantly have to prove it. ● Actually, now that you mention it, ESPECIALLY
in this economy.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
Ask not what your
country can do for you, ask what you can do for your R&B.
SpookSpeak.
Shore party n. 1. (USN) The naval element of a beach operation.
2. (CIA) The navel element of same. ● What area? – When asked if the site
surrounded by a fenced, patrolled perimeter was a denied area ● Anybody can demand a seat at the table. But
you better be good at animating smiley faces in PowerPoint. ● Solution to the ethical dilemma of whether a
self-driving car should save the lives of its passengers or the lives of
pedestrians: make the tiebreaker the shortest traffic delay. ● You were only trying to be polite about my
synesthesia. I smell that now.
Executive
Intelligence Summary You say ‘kiss it and make it better’ like
they’re not mutually exclusive.
At CIA,
terminating an intelligence asset does not mean killing them (and
occasionally vice versa). ● Fighter pilots: sign up to attend a
presentation on the latest trends in aircraft ejection systems. Seats
going fast! – Announcement in Pentagon news publication (proposed) ● The Force is litigable with this one. –
Imperial and Jedi lawyers alike ● You know you’re driving in the country when
the voices on radio ad disclaimers talk slower than you do. ● I assume the
statement “If you can't say something nice, don’t say anything”
Executive
Intelligence Summary A single candle can burn brighter than the
largest bonfire. … Well, brighter in its own way. OK fine, pretty bright then. Also, why do you
have to be so critical of everything???
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