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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)
What the CIA
refers to as an ‘unwitting’ agent is known in British intelligence as an
‘unconscious’ agent – at least if CIA gets to the pub first.
●
Our agent network
hasn’t merely been rolled up – it’s been rolled up, smoked, and the
roach ground down to make weed brownies. – Ops report ● You have no business dissing me (not counting
the legal corporation you’ve formed for the purpose of dissing me, the
600 full-time employees you’ve hired whose job is dissing me, and the
200 million dollars in net revenue your company earns annually from
dissing me). ● Why do anti-aging products have an expiration
date?
●
I’ll never get promoted because I slept with my boss’s wife.
My boss says sleeping with his wife isn’t enough, I also need to improve
my reporting. Executive Intelligence
Summary Whoever said ‘Friends are
a mirror on which the warmth of our breath beclouds our reflection’ was
standing a little close for just friends.
Always jump to collusions. ● Espionage officers around the world say: ‘The real honey trap is always you.’ … Which is strange because a couple of those people I don’t even remember meeting. ● The correct pronunciation is not ‘Feb-u-ary,’ it’s ‘A-poc-a-lypse.’ ● When I read that kangaroos were being harvested for meat, it was like getting kicked in the stomach. Then again, I was standing near a live kangaroo when I read this, so who knows. ● Oxford coma n. A state of deep unconsciousness caused by listening to debates about the Oxford comma. Executive Intelligence Summary
Give a man the crabs, and you’ll ruin his day. Teach a man to crab,
and you’ll ruin him for a lifetime.
In the world of espionage, truth isn’t black and white. It’s black. ● Nevermore. – My station chief, after watching me attempt a ‘raven’ op to recruit a female target ● If these walls could talk, I bet they’d have plenty to say about tongue-and-groove and face nailing. ● The phrase ‘beg the question’ is frequently misused, the correct expression being ‘set up a crowdfunding page to solicit the question.’
● Why add insult to injury, when you can just insult me and save a step? Executive Intelligence Summary
The truth hurts?
Has the truth tried a nerve block?
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