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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)
At CIA,
terminating an intelligence asset does not mean killing them (and
occasionally vice versa). ● Fighter pilots: sign up to attend a
presentation on the latest trends in aircraft ejection systems. Seats
going fast! – Announcement in Pentagon news publication (proposed) ● The Force is litigable with this one. –
Imperial and Jedi lawyers alike ● You know you’re driving in the country when
the voices on radio ad disclaimers talk slower than you do. ● I assume the
statement “If you can't say something nice, don’t say anything”
Executive
Intelligence Summary A single candle can burn brighter than the
largest bonfire. … Well, brighter in its own way. OK fine, pretty bright then. Also, why do you
have to be so critical of everything???
As a general rule, a general shouldn’t. –
[Context and station classified] ● While the CIA is prohibited from collecting
intelligence on US citizens, any intel that falls off an American onto
the floor is fair game. ● Sweden. Because the world needs an emotional
support country. ● Whenever I hear that someone is ‘afraid of
his own shadow,’ I get scared too. What if he’s a giant monster??? ● Life is too short to have more than 1/7 of a
human. – Dog wisdom
Executive
Intelligence Summary
We're all on our
deathbed, but some of us are jumping up and down on the mattress.
One way or another, the term ‘explosive
ordnance disposal unit’ is always accurate. – EOD Team Leader during
ops prep ● SpookSpeak. Go/No-No-Go n.
A meeting to determine whether
to proceed with a planned action, or not to proceed with not proceeding
with that action. ● If you feel something, resonate with
something. – Public service announcement, Department of Homeland
Empathy ● Tony Orlando, telling the bus driver not to
stop: “I specifically instructed her: tie ONE yellow ribbon ‘round the
old oak tree. Not two, not ten, and sure as hell not a hundred.”
● Halfway
through the dictionary’s definition of ‘unreliable narrator,’ doubts
start creeping in.
Executive
Intelligence Summary As if the right hand knew what the right hand
was doing.
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