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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

 

 

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

SpookSpeak. Shore party n. 1. (USN) The naval element of a beach operation. 2. (CIA) The navel element of same.

● What area? – When asked if the site surrounded by a fenced, patrolled perimeter was a denied area

● Anybody can demand a seat at the table. But you better be good at animating smiley faces in PowerPoint.

● Solution to the ethical dilemma of whether a self-driving car should save the lives of its passengers or the lives of pedestrians: make the tiebreaker the shortest traffic delay.

● You were only trying to be polite about my synesthesia. I smell that now.

Executive Intelligence Summary

You say ‘kiss it and make it better’ like they’re not mutually exclusive.

                          

*

     

At CIA, terminating an intelligence asset does not mean killing them (and occasionally vice versa).

● Fighter pilots: sign up to attend a presentation on the latest trends in aircraft ejection systems. Seats going fast! – Announcement in Pentagon news publication (proposed)

● The Force is litigable with this one. – Imperial and Jedi lawyers alike

● You know you’re driving in the country when the voices on radio ad disclaimers talk slower than you do.

I assume the statement “If you can't say something nice, don’t say anything” is a nice thing to say.

Executive Intelligence Summary

A single candle can burn brighter than the largest bonfire.

… Well, brighter in its own way.

OK fine, pretty bright then. Also, why do you have to be so critical of everything???

 

*

 

 

As a general rule, a general shouldn’t. – [Context and station classified]

SpookSpeak. Go/No-No-Go n. A meeting to determine whether to proceed with a planned action, or not to proceed with not proceeding with that action.

● Sweden. Because the world needs an emotional support country.

● Halfway through the dictionary’s definition of ‘unreliable narrator,’ doubts start creeping in.

● Life is too short to have more than 1/7 of a human. – Dog wisdom

Executive Intelligence Summary

We're all on our deathbed, but some of us are jumping up and down on the mattress.

               

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