|
Life's Little Covert Operations Manual (Download Now!) The Naked Intelligence Officer Universal Declaration of HUMINT Rights Secrets of 9/11 (Recently unclassified!) Spaiku! (CIA haiku poetry from the Covert Comic! "Spooky" - USA Today) Black Matters (The world's most classified poetry) Intelligence Underground (Spookiest of the spooks) Copyright 1998-2026. All rights reserved. |
The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.) Every day is Boxing Day if you’re a
polygrapher.
●
Saw a headline
this week: ‘Suicide Blast Rocks Moscow.’ Good to see that the Russian
music scene is alive and well. Congratulations Suicide Blast! You guys ROCK!!!
Suicide Blast totally rocking Moscow this week ● FYI, they may be called ‘dystopian’ novels,
but most of the time they’re actually opposed to dystopia. ● Claims about the health benefits of pink
Himalayan sea salt should be taken with a grain of pretty much any
commercially marketed sodium chloride product of your choice. ● Freedom isn’t free. She wants at least a
hundred bucks and some ecstasy.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
When God tells a
joke, He never punches down – He kicks upward.
What the CIA
refers to as an ‘unwitting’ agent is known in British intelligence as an
‘unconscious’ agent – at least if CIA gets to the pub first.
●
Our agent network
hasn’t merely been rolled up – it’s been rolled up, smoked, and the
roach ground down to make weed brownies. – Ops report ● You have no business dissing me (not counting
the legal corporation you’ve formed for the purpose of dissing me, the
600 full-time employees you’ve hired whose job is dissing me, and the
200 million dollars in net revenue your company earns annually from
dissing me). ● Why do anti-aging products have an expiration
date?
●
I’ll never get promoted because I slept with my boss’s wife.
My boss says sleeping with his wife isn’t enough, I also need to improve
my reporting. Executive Intelligence
Summary Whoever said ‘Friends are
a mirror on which the warmth of our breath beclouds our reflection’ was
standing a little close for just friends.
Always jump to collusions. ● Espionage officers around the world say: ‘The real honey trap is always you.’ … Which is strange because a couple of those people I don’t even remember meeting. ● The correct pronunciation is not ‘Feb-u-ary,’ it’s ‘A-poc-a-lypse.’ ● When I read that kangaroos were being harvested for meat, it was like getting kicked in the stomach. Then again, I was standing near a live kangaroo when I read this, so who knows. ● Oxford coma n. A state of deep unconsciousness caused by listening to debates about the Oxford comma. Executive Intelligence Summary
Give a man the crabs, and you’ll ruin his day. Teach a man to crab,
and you’ll ruin him for a lifetime.
The Covert Comic. Read him while you still can!
|
Intel
Briefings on
