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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)
SpookSpeak.
Blind spot n. In countersurveillance, a belief in the existence
of blind spots.
●
“We’re a lot
alike, you and I,” the enemy agent sneered, placing the barrel of his
Glock against my temple, pulling the trigger, and instantly killing
himself (... because, being a lot like me, he was terrible with firearms).
– Ops report ● I’m nonbinary because I hate alternatives. ● Reading about the five stages of grief before
you actually grieve takes all the excitement out of it. ● Domestic abuse?! The house hit me first!
Executive
Intelligence Summary
I gave her my
heart, but she wanted my soul.
No doubt about
it, I need to read up on gifting.
Was it something I neither confirmed nor
denied? – CIA spokesperson getting dumped after a first date
●
If Israel had a
Ministry Of Secretly Suckering Antisemitic Doofuses, I bet that
ministry’s name would be classified, and its acronym would be an
innocuous-sounding Hebrew word. ● The Zen master is clearly impressed with my
progress. He says I’ve succeeded in emptying my mind faster than any
student he’s ever had. ● Gender studies major? I assumed she was a
colonel at the very least. ● The reason that sign at the gate of Hell says
‘Abandon all hope, ye who enter here’ is so folks won’t
be disappointed once they’re inside.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
If
enough sh*t hits the fan blades, they’ll
stop rotating.
Every day is Boxing Day if you’re a
polygrapher.
●
Saw a headline
this week: ‘Suicide Blast Rocks Moscow.’ Good to see that the Russian
music scene is alive and well. Congratulations Suicide Blast! You guys ROCK!!!
Suicide Blast totally rocking Moscow this week ● Why do anti-aging products have an expiration
date? ● Claims about the health benefits of pink
Himalayan sea salt should be taken with a grain of pretty much any
commercially marketed sodium chloride product of your choice. ● Freedom isn’t free. She wants at least a
hundred bucks and some ecstasy.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
When God tells a
joke, He never punches down – He kicks upward.
The Covert Comic. Read him while you still can!
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