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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

 

 

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

I enjoy extremely short walks on the beach. – Navy SEAL personal ad, US military dating site

Supporting the mission of America’s Space Force will require space-related HUMINT collection by an elite corps of space case officers.

● My new girlfriend has daddy issues. She’s the worst father I’ve ever had.

● In my opinion, 50 Cent is way better than Eminem, since you can get a bunch of Eminems with 50 Cent.

● Albert Einstein said: Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Well here’s one mediocre mind that thinks we ought to give Einstein’s ideas a fair hearing.

Executive Intelligence Summary

It isn’t for want of a little courage that I waver – it’s for want of a rather considerable amount.

                   

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The real purpose of surveillance is to make it look like they don’t already know where you’re going.

Attended an interagency symposium on analytic methodologies. Was impressed by the security practices of the various organizations – it appears they’ve developed technology to blur their analysts’ faces in real life.

● You call yourself anarcho-communist, and you don’t even have kids?!

● The next time management throws me under the bus, and the bus breaks down, I don’t care if I’m under the bus already, I am not fixing it.

● Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile? The obvious solution: give them 1/63,360 of an inch.

Executive Intelligence Summary

When unleashing your inner dragon, always have an approved, readily accessible fire extinguisher.

          

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As a veteran intel officer, I never accept a claim without proof. Preferably 80 proof or greater.

Met with target of opportunity referred by access agent. Recommend opportunity hold its fire. – Ops report

● The Out of Africa theory has been updated. Anthropologists now believe there’s more than enough Africa for everybody.

A rising tide makes submarines deeper.

● Every screen is a touchscreen if you’re an empath.

Executive Intelligence Summary

... Was it good for me too?

                                  

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