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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.) The real purpose of surveillance is to make it
look like they don’t already know where you’re going.
●
Attended an
interagency symposium on analytic methodologies. Was impressed by the
security practices of the various organizations – it appears they’ve
developed technology to blur their analysts’ faces in real life. ● You call yourself anarcho-communist, and you
don’t even have kids?! ● The next time management throws me under the
bus, and the bus breaks down, I don’t care if I’m under the bus already,
I am not fixing it. ● Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile?
The obvious solution: give them 1/63,360 of an inch.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
When unleashing
your inner dragon, always have an approved, readily accessible fire
extinguisher.
As a veteran intel officer, I never accept a
claim without proof. Preferably 80 proof or greater.
●
Met
with target of opportunity referred by access agent. Recommend
opportunity hold its fire. – Ops report ● The Out of Africa theory has been updated.
Anthropologists now believe there’s more than enough Africa for
everybody.
●
A rising tide makes submarines deeper. ● Every screen is a touchscreen if you’re an
empath.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
... Was it good for me too?
A Director of CIA is like a puppet master: shadowy, operating behind the scenes, plus one’s audience is mostly children. ● Confirmed that subject is witting. Then again, the night is still young. – Ops report ● Whoever believes in me shall do my works, and shall do even greater works than these. – John 14:12 Water into wine … and now, hydrolyzed animal tissues into Jell-O® shots! – Tom Lehrer, 1956 ● No country with a McDonalds has ever gone to war against America (not counting America). ● It’s not unrequited love. She quits every two or three weeks. Executive Intelligence Summary
If you don’t resonate with it, maybe you just need to be struck a
little harder with the mallet.
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