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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.) At CIA we encourage transgender employees to
self-identify (provided they self-identify as the opposite
transgender identity for cover purposes).
●
US Department of
State headquarters is located in an area of Washington DC known as Foggy
Bottom, though this is believed to be a coincidence.
●
I bet whoever
first said “The future is now!”
feels like a total idiot today. ● Integrated Network Support Information Center
(INSIC) n. Code phrase for a day off work. (First thing
tomorrow, let’s each call Integrated Network Support Information Center
and then meet up in the park.) ● Ah but I was so middle-aged then. I’m middle-ageder than that now.
Executive
Intelligence Summary To err is human. To narc is sism.
I approve of what you say, but I will defend to
the death your obligation to say it only in an authorized secure
government facility per Executive Order 13526 and relevant sections of
32 C.F.R. § 2001.13 as modified therein.
●
Subject was recruited as an access agent, but self-identifies as a
penetration agent in an access agent’s body. – Ops report ● Saw a headline: ‘Explosion Rocks Nursing
Home.’ Not to be critical, but if they’re playing
assisted living facilities, how good a band could Explosion be??? ● It isn’t that there’s no such thing as human
combustion in New England – it’s just that it tends not to be all that
spontaneous. ● To avoid finding out, f**k elliptically.
Executive Intelligence Summary
– From PostTopSecret
If you knew how rarely the CIA engages in
covert action, as long as you kept quiet that number might not have to
change.
●
It’s been said
that espionage involves peeking at the other fellow’s hand, marking the
cards, cooking the books,
poisoning the well, breaking the rules, hitting below the belt,
cheating, lying, deceiving, defaming, snooping, eavesdropping, prying,
stealing, bribing, suborning, burglarizing, forging, misleading,
conducting dirty tricks, dirty pool, skullduggery, blackmail, seduction,
everything not sporting, not kosher, not cricket. But while this claim
is not without truth, it’s
important to keep in mind that espionage also has its downsides.
●
In order to send a more uplifting message, maybe instead of smashing
their guitars at the end of a concert, rock stars could reconstruct
guitars from discarded parts and play a song on them.
● Whenever I see
a painting of a nude woman, I imagine how angry she must have been when
she found out.
●
In quantum
physics, ‘Shrödinger’s cat’ simultaneously does and does not contain an
umlaut.
Executive
Intelligence Summary Live, laugh, love, lie (about who you lived,
laughed and loved with).
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