The Covert Comic

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Spaiku! (CIA haiku poetry from the Covert Comic! "Spooky" - USA Today)

Black Matters (The world's most classified poetry)

Intelligence Underground (Spookiest of the spooks)

The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Always jump to collusions.

● Espionage officers around the world say: ‘The real honey trap is always you.’

… Which is strange because a couple of those people I don’t even remember meeting.

● The correct pronunciation is not ‘Feb-u-ary,’ it’s ‘A-poc-a-lypse.’

● When I read that kangaroos were being harvested for meat, it was like getting kicked in the stomach.

Then again, I was standing near a live kangaroo when I read this, so who knows.

● Oxford coma n. A state of deep unconsciousness caused by listening to debates about the Oxford comma.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Give a man the crabs, and you’ll ruin his day. Teach a man to crab, and you’ll ruin him for a lifetime.

In the world of espionage, truth isn’t black and white. It’s black.

● Nevermore. – My station chief, after watching me attempt a ‘raven’ op to recruit a female target

● If these walls could talk, I bet they’d have plenty to say about tongue-and-groove and face nailing.

● The phrase ‘beg the question’ is frequently misused, the correct expression being ‘set up a crowdfunding page to solicit the question.’

● Why add insult to injury, when you can just insult me and save a step?

Executive Intelligence Summary

They say you can’t tame a wild rose. And even if you could, probably the only trick you could teach it would be ‘stay.’

The purpose of the sweep is to detect the bug, and vice versa.

● “When you say you have experience handling assets,” she purred, “Do you mean –“

“Yes, and yes” I answered, leaning closer and pouring her another drink. – Ops report

● Game show host: “Famed self-help author Dale Carnegie recommended doing this to make a lasting impression on people.”

Me: “What is: use brass knuckles?”

● Being asked to spell ‘vicissitude’ is an example of one.

● The problem with ‘for a good time, call’ graffiti in restrooms is that it assumes I’m not having an even better time in that restroom already.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The truth hurts? Has the truth tried a nerve block?

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