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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

 

 

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

What officially can neither be confirmed nor denied as having happened at Langley, officially can neither be confirmed nor denied as staying at Langley.

Female CIA case officer to male Russian counterintelligence officer in her Moscow apartment: “Let me slip into something more comfortable.”

Once inside boudoir, case officer activates classified handheld quantum entanglement device, instantly materializes on beach chair drinking a Tinto de Verano in Málaga, Spain.

● If a psychic offers you a 50% discount, haven’t they pretty much told you your future already?

● A man may, and even should, have shelves for stocking provisions. But no man shall own a pantry.

● Why add insult to injury, when you can just insult me and save a step?

Executive Intelligence Summary

My conscience is on clearance.

                      

*

     

How can I spot, assess, develop and recruit others until I first spot, assess, develop and recruit myself? – Self-help for spies

Your guess is as good as a mine. – On the effectiveness of a contractor’s AI-based IED detection system

● Anthropologists claim the world’s oldest profession is actually toolmaking.

To which prostitutes reply: ‘Exactly.’

● You say ‘numb skull’ like it isn’t therapeutic.

● A dog only urinates on that which stands firm.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Some warm to the heat of a different dumpster.

    

*

 

Thanks to drone technology, the fray is now above the fray.

In CIA parlance, the expression ‘terminate with prejudice’ does not mean killing an agent. (As for the phrase ‘amicable termination,’ that’s a different matter.)

● Get rich tie-dying using dry tying or die trying.

● Tamagotchief n. A remotely located manager requiring daily digital interaction, care and nurturing.

● We pass through this world but once. On the other hand, after youve tunneled your way through the crust, mantle, outer core, inner core, outer core, mantle, and out the crust again, once is plenty.

Executive Intelligence Summary

To avoid finding out, f**k elliptically.

                                  

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