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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)
What officially can neither be confirmed nor denied as having
happened at Langley, officially can neither be confirmed nor denied as
staying at Langley.
●
Female
CIA case officer
to male Russian counterintelligence officer in her Moscow apartment:
“Let me slip into something more comfortable.” Once inside boudoir, case officer activates
classified handheld quantum entanglement device, instantly materializes
on beach chair drinking a Tinto de Verano in Málaga, Spain. ● If a psychic offers you a 50% discount,
haven’t they pretty much told you your future already? ● A man may, and even should, have shelves for
stocking provisions. But no man shall own a pantry. ● Why add insult to injury, when you can just
insult me and save a step?
Executive
Intelligence Summary My conscience is on clearance.
How can I spot, assess, develop and recruit
others until I first spot, assess, develop and recruit myself? –
Self-help for spies
●
Your guess is as
good as a mine. – On the effectiveness of a contractor’s AI-based IED
detection system
● Anthropologists
claim the world’s oldest profession is actually toolmaking. To which prostitutes reply: ‘Exactly.’ ● You say ‘numb skull’ like it isn’t
therapeutic. ● A dog only urinates on that which stands
firm.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
Some
warm to the
heat of a different dumpster.
Thanks to drone technology, the fray is now
above the fray.
●
In CIA parlance,
the expression ‘terminate with prejudice’ does
not mean killing an agent.
(As for the phrase ‘amicable termination,’ that’s a different matter.) ● Get rich tie-dying using dry tying or die
trying.
● Tamagotchief
n. A remotely located manager requiring daily digital interaction,
care and nurturing.
● We pass through
this world but once.
On the
other hand, after you’ve
tunneled your way through the crust, mantle, outer core, inner core,
outer core, mantle, and out the crust again, once is plenty. Executive Intelligence Summary To avoid finding out, f**k elliptically.
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