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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

A spy without vices is like a pie without spices.

● If access to classified intelligence is an aphrodisiac of power, actually reading the stuff is chemical castration.

● Ideal serving temperature for wine? Anywhere between hypothermia and heat stroke works for me.

● When interacting with voice AI, speak clearly and avoid sounding hesitant or nervous, as voice AI can sense fear.

An ‘in-this-economy’ post? In this economy???

Executive Intelligence Summary

If the first wealth is health, the first health is stealth.




The wages of secrecy are corruption – with secrecy matching up to 4% of the corruption you contribute to your individual retirement account.

● I’m not a spy in the house of love – I’m a floater.

● Your true friendliness is inversely proportional to the number of consecutive friend requests you send someone on Facebook.

● I fact-check fun facts. But I’m a fun fun fact fact-checker.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. But a picture of them saying this requires a caption.

Executive Intelligence Summary

On the doors between things known and things unknown, are the screens sliding or retractable?




Tinker, tailor

Soldier, spy

As long as I don't have

To work in CI

● Any quote about silence can be made more illuminating by adding ‘rs’ after the e.

● One upside of not having a seat at the table: if you show up early you can grab a space next to the coffee and donuts.

My wife says she would never fake an orgasm, but if I want her to, she’s willing to fake faking one.

● What color does your mood ring turn after you read about thermochromism?

Executive Intelligence Summary

Whenever I see a picture of a galaxy filled with hundreds of billions of stars, I feel small.

But when I see a picture of an ultra-compact dwarf galaxy containing only a hundred million stars, I feel like I need to lose weight.


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