Covert Comic Home Page


Contact Report

Universal Intelligence Estimate

Catwalk of Spies


My War On Terror!

The Naked Intelligence Officer

Real Men Don't Get Published

Who Killed The Covert Comic?

Universal Declaration of Humint Rights

PETA: People for the Ethical Treatment of Americans

Secrets of 9/11 (Recently unclassified!)

Spaiku! (CIA haiku poetry from the Covert Comic! "Spooky" - USA Today)

Black Matters (The world's most classified poetry)

Intelligence Underground (Spookiest of the spooks)

Form 22C: Questioning Authority

Intelligence Agents (Classified links and communiqués)

Contact The Covert Comic

Copyright 1998-2017. All rights reserved.

The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Love isn't gazing together in the same direction, but looking around in opposite directions, to cover each other against hostile fire.

  Your wife's boobs. – The Covert Comic, after being advised by a Justice Department official that anything he said would be held against him

  It's said that some walk in the rain, while others just get wet.  As for me, I tend to mildew.

  The only difference between "leader" and "dealer" is where you place the letters. Who Killed the Covert Comic?

  Motivational Secret of the Week.  Before you criticize a cell, migrate a nanometer using its transmembrane receptors.

Executive Intelligence Summary

By the time the victor gets them, the spoils are usually spoiled.




Home improvement is where the heart improvement is.

  Secret 7325.  Each of us is our own agent provocateur.

  America believes in second chances.  We're just not sure how we feel about first ones.

  Time cannot erase the memory of love lost – as quickly and easily as it can deallocate that memory using a TRUNCATE TABLE command.

  wikiHow?  How wiki.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The oldest trick in the book is the book.




All control is remote.

  Secret 54817671.  He who kicks ass should not wear shoes with laces.

  Sometimes I'm plagued by self-doubt.  For example, I'm too sexy for my car, but what if I'm not too sexy by far?

  Motivational Secret of the Week.  If you want to be a guardian of the galaxy, be a guardian of your own little parsec of it.

  You push 40.  50 drags you down the street.

Executive Intelligence Summary

All other things being equal, I'm proud to be an other thing!


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?







The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!