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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Extraordinary claims inspire extraordinary evidence.

  It's no secret that there's too much classification in government today – it's TOP SECRET//ORCON//NOFORN.

  At CIA, counterterrorism isn't a simulation game.  It's a real game.

  When placing love above all else, if you use a crane, the upper sheave on the jib isn't higher than your love, it's part of your love.

  Please get over getting over it.

Executive Intelligence Summary

My bark may be worse than my bite, but I can still hump a mean leg.




There are fewer things too strange to happen than things too strange not to.

●  Subject told me not to be afraid as she didn't bite.  Luckily I'd been briefed that she constricts and swallows whole. – from contact report

  Living in a dark age isn't so bad if you have night vision goggles.

  If you can't figure out the CAPTCHA, consider the possibility that you're a machine.

  How can I help others unless I first stop them from helping themselves?

Executive Intelligence Summary

When keeping your finger on the pulse of a situation, be careful how hard you press.




Sent from my mindPhone.

●  She offered fierce resistance, but I politely declined.  – Excerpt from ops report

●  Everybody knows that if you're a zombie with money, you can get all the human brains you want.

●  It's not necessarily wrong to hold a grudge, as long as you refrain from heavy petting.

●  As long as you have two or fewer, your ducks are always in a row.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Best practices, good enough does.


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?





I believe the children are our future.




The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!