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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

A good briefing is two thirds preparation, and one third snow day.

  Secret 50023101.  It isn't the number of assets you recruit, it's the quality of the acrylic award plaques you get for recruiting them.

  When e-mailing in Yahoo, if you leave the subject line blank it defaults to 'No Subject.'  In my case, definitely a timesaver.

  Motivational Secret of the Week.  It's never too late to be who you might have been – but it's almost always too early to be whom.

  My wife and I have an understanding: No.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Nothing lasts forever.  Nothing's that brief.




There's a reason blessings wear disguises.

●  Clearly, someone wanted me dead.  And if that someone was a cute necrophiliac, well, maybe I was just desperate enough to consider it.

●  Secret 2030.  If you must forecast, play it safe and forecast the future.

●  They say there's nothing like the open road – though if you ask me, a closed road looks pretty darn similar.

●  Morning has broken?  Please don't fix it before noon.

Executive Intelligence Summary

I promise I'll always be true ... or at the very least, based on a true story.




The recruitment of a single asset begins with a thousand drinks.

  I'm known as a mover and shaker, though in my case I tend to start shaking first, and then get moving.

  She prefers the strong silent type - you know, Times New Roman or Arial Black.

●  Concept for a horror comedy (and/or news documentary): UNDead.  A CIA-engineered biotoxin turns United Nations officials into zombies.

  It's said that butterflies flutter for a day and think it's forever.  And if you've ever tried fluttering, you know how they feel.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Truthers are stranger than fictioners.


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?







The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!