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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

... Don't ask.


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

You have the right to become silent.

  I want to recruit an asset, who recruits another asset, who recruits me, so I can find out what I'm doing.

  There's a special place in hell for rich people who don't help the poor.  And among other perks, I hear it has air conditioning.

  Celebrity mathematicians die in 3.14159265359's.

●  Half the people who say 'Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger' consider a cricket in the bathtub lethal.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Better to be from the wrong side of the tracks, than to be the tracks.




Is it true that if you have to ask, you'll never know? - Zen polygraph test

  If she wears lingerie under her body armor, date her.  If she wears body armor under her lingerie, buy her a diamond ring.

  I just found out I've been living beyond my means.  When the hell did I get means???

  Most who claim to be citizens of the world couldn't qualify for a transit visa.

  The upside of the end of days: the beginning of evenings!

Executive Intelligence Summary

Everything I need to know, I bet I would have learned in kindergarten.




It's a world-eat-world world.

  If a problem well stated is a problem half-solved, state it well again!

  Concept for a TV action series: Menschtable.  A shapeshifter who can assume the form of any vegetable, to help fight crime.

  From each according to his ability, to each according to his need, suggestively hugging the hips of each according to his skirt size.

  I don't expect the good things in life to be handed to me.  Just wheel them up to the sofa, and I'll reach over and get them myself.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Sometimes, 'not even close' means already there.


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?







The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!