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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

No more fairy tales.  From now on, only fairy facts.

  When practiced for a living, intrigue doesn't.

  The first mistake was calling it the 'Death Star.'  A more appropriate name would have been the Homegalaxy Orbital Peace Enablement Facility.

  How do we know robots can't cry?  Maybe we haven't done anything that really hurt their feelings yet.

  You were the last guy with me on Saturday night. – entry in Father's Day essay contest: 'You're a Father If ...' 

Executive Intelligence Summary

Actually, I'm OK with less than extreme prejudice, as long as you terminate.Catwalk of Spies




Ask me no questions ... and let's just leave it at that.

  Central Cover Staff.  Taking out the c and the i, and putting the s, d, p, r, m, n, an additional a, 4 t's, and 3 e's in 'State Department.'

  The first three assets a junior CIA ops officer gets killed should be considered part of his or her on-the-job training.  Any assets killed after that should count toward promotion. Catwalk of Spies

  I suspect the idiom 'worm one's way' entered the language gradually, possibly by means of guile or deceit.

  For a good time call 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592.

Executive Intelligence Summary

It's time to quit thinking in terms of 'us' versus 'them,' and start thinking in terms of 'them' versus 'us.'




There are no conspiracy theories, only conspiracy desiderata.

  If I trip and fall in a CIA conference room while giving a top secret intelligence briefing, and everybody in the room is under State Department cover, do I make a sound? Real Men Don't Get Published

  I'd rather itch where I couldn't scratch, than scratch where I couldn't itch.

  At one point I had a cult following, but by successfully employing countersurveillance measures, I managed to lose them on a busy side street.

  SpookSpeak.  Read v.  Slang. Redact.

Motivational Secret of the Week

I'm finally able to accept myself – provided I'm accompanied by two valid forms of ID.


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!