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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

The Covert Comic.  Discreetly inserting the noc in "innocuous."

  Secret 003126.  In espionage, useful intelligence tends to come in dribbles.  And that's a polite way of putting it.

  "I thought you were the one," I told her sadly.  "You were close," replied Theone.

●  Despite what those signs in the bathrooms say, no employee in any restaurant has ever come in to wash my hands.

●  When the good die, their goodness does not perish, but instead continues on, to wander the earth undead, preying on the living.

Executive Intelligence Summary

You are entitled to your opinion.  The consequences of your opinion are entitled to you.



PostTopSecret of the Week


The rain in Ukraine falls mainly on the insane.

  In cyber espionage, the cloak and the dagger are one and the same.

  To be decimated means to lose a tenth of one's population.  I've lived in places where that's just a busy Saturday night.

●  Back in the day, before he was president, you just know James Madison's homies called him JMad.

  Secret 02.02.  By skillfully employing peripheral vision, it's actually possible to gaze into an abyss without the abyss gazing into you.

Motivational Secret of the Week

The greatest gift you can give to posterity is a good kick in the posterior.




It's a moot point whether your ass needs kicking, if kicking needs your ass.

  Secret 71910151.  A story with legs usually involves legs with a story.

  OK, maybe one iota, or two iotas at most, but definitely not three.

  They say power corrupts, but most of the time it's actually faulty storage media.

  Less road rage – but also, how about less road beatitude.

Executive Intelligence Summary

I'm willing to forgive and forget, but damned if I'll be forgiven and forgotten.


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?







The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!