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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing



(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

When opportunity NOCs, it makes no sound.

  As a veteran ops officer, I do some of my best intelligence collection under surveillance, small arms fire, and/or the influence.

  Can Hillary Clinton generate broad support in 2016? … Wait, I didn't mean it that way.  I mean: will broads support Hillary Clinton in 2016?

  Success in middle management is about stampeding by example.

  Anal sex?  In my opinion, if consenting adult anuses choose to have a sexual relationship, it's their business.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The lessons-never-learned review is way more useful.



First tour, huh?


HUMINT is like truffles: it's expensive, to get it requires digging up dirt, and you spend a lot of time working with pigs.

  Your idea works in conspiracy theory, but not in conspiracy practice.

  Stephen Hawking threw a party for time travelers, but except for the cleaning crew, no one from the future showed up.

  When some women donate their bodies to science, they're really turning them back in.

  Trust is the epoxy of relationships – sniff it at your own risk.

Executive Intelligence Summary

I believe truth will have the last word (if a grunt counts as a word).




A congressional hearing on a covert action scandal is typically about as scandalous, but involves more covert action.

  The President's Daily Brief was originally called the President's Intelligence Check List.  But when people started saying "Is that a PICL in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" they changed the name.

●  They say the best classroom is at the feet of an elderly person.  Certainly one can learn a lot about podiatry down there.

●  Those two girls who share one body: how do we know that's not one two-headed girl pretending to be two girls to get attention?

●  When transforming the political landscape, remember that manure makes the best fertilizer.

Executive Intelligence Summary

You can't handle the truth – that's my asset.


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?







The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!