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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

The Covert Comic.  Not just classified, kickassified!

●  She offered fierce resistance, but I politely declined.  – Excerpt from ops report

●  Heard a public service ad that said calling 911 for a non-emergency endangers lives.  So if I see someone doing this, should I call 911?

●  It's not necessarily wrong to hold a grudge, as long as you refrain from heavy petting.

●  I despise crass commercialism – though I have nothing against crassness itself.

 Executive Intelligence Summary

Flightless birds, too, fall to earth.




Motivational Secret of the Week.  It takes more muscles to frown than to remotely pilot a missile-equipped unmanned aerial vehicle.

●  Secret 43916092.  A little intel is often worse than no intel, and an abundance of intel is generally worse than both.

●  I support a redress of grievances, especially if it's strapless and tight-fitting.

●  Change management consultants will always have a slide in their decks containing the phrase 'But we've always done it this way.'

●  The rain falls upon the just and unjust alike – though the rain that falls upon the just tends to be yellower.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Best practices, good enough does.





●  At CIA, 90% of success is nobody knowing you showed up.

●  If a half-truth is a whole lie, a whole truth is two whole lies.

●  You know what never gets awkward?  Talking about things other people did that got awkward.

●  The 69 in 1969 wasn't really all that fun for anybody, but the 19 was at least enjoyable for the 1.

Executive Intelligence Summary

It's not who you know, it's which of them you've officially never met.


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?







The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!