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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Whom the gods would destroy, they first make gods.

  Secret 16913011.  Better a CIA front than a CIA backside.

  Read that dogs align themselves with the Earth’s magnetic field when urinating or defecating.  Trying it myself this week – so far so good!

  Motivational Secret of the Week: Aim for the stars – even if you miss, you may hit an executive producer.

  Anybody I can hold a candle to, I drip hot wax on.

Executive Intelligence Summary

If you can't be with the √-1 you love, love the √-1 you're with.




Kiss the girls and make them neither confirm nor deny.

  If the CIA isn’t a force for truth, what is it good for?  (Truth, I mean, not the CIA.)

  Motivational Secret of the Week: You are not a statistic.  You are a datum used in the calculation of a statistic.

  I never read the whole Zen koan – I just skip to the end to find out if the monk attained enlightenment.

  ‘Scarface’ is a redundancy.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Even if I did create them myself, I still think I'm doing pretty well under the circumstances.




The Covert Comic: glans clitoridis of America's intelligence gap.

  Some case officers drink to spy better.  The best case officers spy to drink better.

  It may be to die for, but is it to die and be risen again as one of the undead, doomed to wander soulless through all eternity for?

  Director’s cut?  Let’s hope it’s a major artery.

  I stand behind my words – it’s just hard to see me because they’re so much bigger than I am.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Don't touch me – I don't know where I've been.


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?







The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!