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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Motivational Secret of the Week: Dare to dream of dreaming daringly.

  The TSA confused a bottle of perfume with a hand grenade.  Talk about an embarrassing mistake – everybody knows perfume is far more lethal.

  I refuse to be just another statistic.  I'm empowering myself to be an informed, assertive, beautiful statistic!

  The map may not be the territory, but if the theory of a 2-dimensional holographic universe is confirmed, it means the territory is a map.

  People who are needed by people who need people aren't the luckiest people in the world.

Executive Intelligence Summary

That still small voice within sure seems to refuse to confirm or deny a lot.




The kingdom of intelligence officially isn't within you.

  Power exercised under the cloak of national security is odious.  But power exercised under the microkini of national security is totally hot.

  Saw a headline: 'Killers Executed In Three States.'  How is drawing out their executions like that not cruel and unusual punishment???

  If not for his call to priesthood

The Bishop Fulton Sheen

Might have been a five-star general

Or even a famed drag queen

  Rather than continue kicking the can down the road, let us gather up the can, and deposit it in a roadside trash receptacle.

Executive Intelligence Summary


Energy equals staff times the speed of life scared.




Redaction marks are the truth dressed in black burqa.

  Secret 0.59179.  When an asset quits, make sure to collect their cover docs, commo hardware, and any countries they were running for you.

  Saw a headline: 'World's Ugliest Dog Dead.'  Not believing it for one minute.

  Texting depersonalizes communication, rendering human interaction one dimensional.  But there are downsides to texting too.

●  Sooner or later, most of us die from complications of being ourselves.

Intelligence Community Pitch of the Night

Wanna analyze my pocket litter?


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?







The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!