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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

 

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

SpookSpeak.  Messpionage n.  Espionage characterized by shoddy tradecraft, unreliable sources and/or dubious collection priorities.

●  Contrary to popular belief, the Intelligence Community is not getting bigger.  Everything else is getting smaller.

●  Chris Christie running for president???

●  When Edward R. Murrow said "A satellite has no conscience," he was referring to early 1960's technology.

●  It takes all kinds of people to make the world go 'round – but only two to make it bounce.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Once I put my problems into perspective, how long should I leave them in?

 

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●  In CIA operations, 'spotting' refers primarily to the identification of recruitment targets, though irregular bleeding may also be involved.

●  What's so bad about opening a can of worms?  It's not like they're going to be alive or anything.

●  When I see pictures of animals staring through cage bars, I always imagine they're sad because they can't let me out.

●  One time when I was a kid, my teacher wrote on my homework "You can't be serious."  For years after that, I thought it was an official rule.

Motivational Secret of the Week

The difference between slime and sublime is you be.

 

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I never dodge a question.  I'm too busy dodging answers.

  At CIA we relish meeting the challenges of a changing world, so we can get those challenges drunk and recruit them to spy for us.

  Saw a Cosmopolitan cover line: 'Turn Him On Without Saying A Word.'  Wondered if I could get my wife to try not saying a word some time.

  SpookSpeak.  Career-threatening adj.  1. (Government) True.

  That 'If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention' sticker on my bumper isn't a political statement, it's a comment about my car.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Robot analysts?

… You mean up to now they weren't???

 

The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.

 

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Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)

                          

 

 

                

Can't we all just coexist?

 

         

 

 

                        

 

The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!