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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Top secret doesn't mean most secret, it means coolest!

●  Where I work, if you're on a conference call and you accidentally start talking on mute, everybody on the call can still hear you.

●  Did you ever stop to ask yourself why you have to stop to ask yourself something?

●  If the joke's on you, experts recommend keeping calm and utilizing the 'trap and roll' mount escape.

●  Power corrupts, but mediocre power corrupts mediocrely.

Executive Intelligence Summary

'None of us is as smart as all of us?'  Isn't that the whole problem? – Real Men Don't Get Published




To die with a secret on one's lips there are worse parts of one's body to die with a secret on.

●  Don't imagine for a second that the CIA can detect your thoughts.  Imagine it for at least 2.5 seconds, so we can calibrate our servers.

●  One man with the truth can make a majority – though depending on the size of his truth, he may constitute a hung parliament.

●  An upside of the dark night of the soul: no lines at the convenience store of the soul.

●  All things being equal, you'd never need to use this cliché. – My War on Terror!

Motivational Secret of the Week




The truth hurts?  Give the truth a pain reliever!

  Secret 6391391.  If she calls you a lady-killer, note that she isn't dead.

  Prediction: the stomach of that 99-million-year-old bird discovered encased in amber will be found to contain a worm.

  When maternal instincts kick in, I'm pretty sure I know what gets kicked in by them.

  Motivational Secret of the Week.  Remember: if you don't open, you never have to refrigerate.

Executive Intelligence Summary

I never met a man who never met a man he didn't like I liked. Real Men Don't Get Published


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?







The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!