Covert Comic Home Page


Contact Report

Universal Intelligence Estimate

Catwalk of Spies


My War On Terror!

The Naked Intelligence Officer

Real Men Don't Get Published

Who Killed The Covert Comic?

Universal Declaration of Humint Rights

PETA: People for the Ethical Treatment of Americans

Secrets of 9/11 (Recently unclassified!)

Spaiku! (CIA haiku poetry from the Covert Comic! "Spooky" - USA Today)

Black Matters (The world's most classified poetry)

Intelligence Underground (Spookiest of the spooks)

Form 22C: Questioning Authority

Intelligence Agents (Classified links and communiqués)

Contact The Covert Comic

Copyright 1998-2019. All rights reserved.

The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Non-official cover 'em dead!

●  You might think a dedebriefing would be logically equivalent to a briefing; in reality however, a dedebriefing is more like a rebriefing, whereas a briefing is more like a predebriefing.

●  The phrase 'any number of people' also applies for quantities ≤ 0.

●  It's time to move beyond the idea that girls 'can' be leaders, and recognize that girls are leaders – and that they've been leading in a very naughty way, and must be punished with a severe spanking.

●  If I knew then what I know now, by now I probably wouldn't know it. Universal Intelligence Estimate

Executive Intelligence Summary

The honey stings, but the bee tastes sweet.




Veni, vidi, vomens.  I came, I saw, I experienced severe nausea.

  Media reports of new CIA sex scandals raise troubling questions.  Specifically, as a CIA officer, how come I never find out about new CIA sex scandals except through media reports??? 

  America was not built on fear (although America is partly financed by interest from fear-based derivatives).

  The rise of superbugs super bugs me.

  If it falls on me and pins me underneath it, does that count as seizing the day? – My War on Terror!

Executive Intelligence Summary

Having been drafted to draft an analysis on proposals to bring back the draft, I poured a glass of draft, shut the window to keep out the draft, and started working on the first draft.




Secret 10028060.  The assessment is the damage.

  SpookSpeak.  Deep state n.  A troublesome situation. ('Uh-oh, we're in some deep state now.')

●  Opportunity is a porch pirate.

●  There are people who will pick your brain like they're picking a pimple.

●  As a conservative, while I oppose any invasion of privacy, I fully support privatization of any such invasion. My War on Terror!

Executive Intelligence Summary

If you're really an influencer, how come I've heard of you?



The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!