Covert Comic Home Page

Catwalk of Spies



My War On Terror!

The Naked Intelligence Officer

Real Men Don't Get Published

Who Killed The Covert Comic?

Universal Declaration of Humint Rights

PETA: People for the Ethical Treatment of Americans

Secrets of 9/11 (Recently unclassified!)

Shoe Bomb of Life

Spaiku! (CIA haiku poetry from the Covert Comic! "Spooky" - USA Today)

Black Matters (The world's most classified poetry)

Intelligence Underground (Spookiest of the spooks)

Form 22C: Questioning Authority

Intelligence Agents (Links to Covert Comic-approved sites)

Contact The Covert Comic

Copyright 1998-2014. All rights reserved.

The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

NOC, NOC, who isn't there?

●  I reprogrammed HAARP to remotely program people's brains to make them refuse to remotely program people's brains.  You're welcome, world.

●  I'll take social democracy over capitalism any day of the week (but not weekends).

●  To those who say it's tough fighting a southpaw, I think I've identified the source of your problem: his paw is actually to your east.

●  Is it finally time for a national Bat-Signal?

Executive Intelligence Summary

The 'or' in 'adapt or perish' is inclusive.




You can't lose face if you don't have one.

  My name is engraved in marble at CIA Headquarters (and in order to keep it that way, I'm not telling where).

  They say it's lonely at the top.  Down here at the bottom, of course, it's one big sex party.

  Aphorism: a type of joke featuring a setup in the form of a brief observation, followed by a punch line consisting of a random person's name.

  To be na´ve is to be ala´ve.

Executive Intelligence Summary

I found God.  Where do I turn him in?




The joke isn't too soon, the tragedy is too late.

  Every now and then just for fun, instead of neither confirming nor denying, I neither deny nor confirm.

●  I am not my smartphone.  But my smartphone says I still matter.

●  No country with a McDonalds has ever gone to war against America (not counting America).

  The saying 'You always find a thing in the last place you look for it' is refutable at will.

Executive Intelligence Summary

If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't change a thing (pretty much by definition).


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?







The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!