Covert Comic Home Page

Catwalk of Spies



My War On Terror!

The Naked Intelligence Officer

Real Men Don't Get Published

Who Killed The Covert Comic?

Universal Declaration of Humint Rights

PETA: People for the Ethical Treatment of Americans

Secrets of 9/11 (Recently unclassified!)

Shoe Bomb of Life

Spaiku! (CIA haiku poetry from the Covert Comic! "Spooky" - USA Today)

Black Matters (The world's most classified poetry)

Intelligence Underground (Spookiest of the spooks)

Form 22C: Questioning Authority

Intelligence Agents (Classified links and communiqués)

Contact The Covert Comic

Copyright 1998-2014. All rights reserved.

The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing



(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

The expert crowd is adept at blending into a spy.

  Intelligence Community Dis of the Day: His analysis is thought provoking.  It provokes the thought: 'This is some lame-assed analysis.'

  Knowing that knowing is half the battle is 25% of the battle.

  The mammary fixation is the most infantile and most American of sex fetishes?  Hey, we are a young country after all.

  Once we view wars as gang fights, waged to perpetuate gang leadership and enforce gang loyalty, I just hope you'll be flashin' my gang sign.

Motivational Secret of the Week

If living well is the best revenge, and revenge is a dish best served cold, living well must be ice cream!




My view on CIA torture?  It depends who at CIA you're talking about torturing.

●  Where I work, you're not considered an expert on global affairs until you've had at least one on every continent.

●  Actually, the Empire does a lot for the poorer planets, but due to liberal media bias, most of the galaxy never hears about it.

●  All similarities are eerie.

●  'Oh for a book and a shady nook?'  Oh for a shady bookie and some nookie.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Get out before you throw me out. –




I never blink in the face of danger.  I clear out way before danger gets that close.

  Secret 146250.  A fool and his assets aren't soon parted.

  They laughed at Jesus, they laughed at Einstein, they laughed at Gandhi.  What did these three have in common?  Great comic timing.

●  I hate speaking in public, unless I'm the one talking.

●  Due to budget challenges, the dignity of office has been replaced with the dignity of cubicle.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The truth is on our side.  And if we don't execute an escape immediately, it's going to submit us with a kimura.


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?







The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!