As featured in the latest hard copy release from Hotel Amerika (see below to officially not order this great new Covert Comic bumper sticker!)

(Note: cleared readers only, please.)

Monday

Secret 11028121.  What you can't solve, franchise.

SpookSpeak.  Sassified (adj).  Sensitive But Unclassified.

Tuesday

You never hear the phrase 'Get a life!' anymore.  I guess everyone got a life.

It was 2:30 in the afternoon under a cloudless sky, when I felt the pulsating thump of the approaching choppers.  Instinctively I looked up, knowing even as I did so it would be useless.  They always came in the daytime, when they knew you couldn't see them.  Would we ever learn the identity and purpose of the super secret government agency behind the blue helicopters?

Wednesday

Motivational Secret of the Week

To sell one's soul may be madness, but not to find out how much one could get for it is just plain dumb.

Thursday

America can't be the world's policeman?  Damn.  I was kind of hoping we could arrest and strip search Denmark.

Infallibility is something you more or less fall into.

Friday

Executive Intelligence Summary

Secret 29911291.  Oh what a tangled web we conceive, when first we practice to be deceived.

*

Monday

The source is the method, and the method is the source.

SpookSpeak.  International peacecreeper n.  (CIA)  An intelligence officer who engages in covert activities in order to facilitate acceptance of, or/and eliminate impediments to, peace agreements.

Tuesday

US Intelligence Community pick-up line of the week: "So what don't you do?"

Before we get into a pissing contest here, is the prize for height, quantity, or force per square meter?

Wednesday

Motivational Secret of the Week

May your hopes never be dashed, but rather comma-delimited.

Thursday

Being a dull boy makes Jack consent to an all work – no play situation in the first place.

I may not know the half of it, but I know the √-1 of it.

Friday

Executive Intelligence Summary

Secret 4081217.  If you don't stand for something, you can't fall for anything.

*

Selected US Intelligence Classifications

(FOUO) For Official Use Only

(C) Confidential

(S) Secret

(TS) Top Secret

(SBU) Sensitive But Unclassified

(SBVU) Sensitive But Very Unclassified

(UBT) Unclassified But Ticklish

(ILBBNP) Into Light Bondage But No Pain

(P) Into Pain

(WNINTEL) Warning Notice – Intelligence Sources & Methods Involved

(WNNISOMIW) Warning Notice – No Intelligent Sources Or Methods Involved Whatsoever

(WNDNBFL) Warning Notice – Do Not Brief Following Lunch

(NOFORN) Not Releasable To Foreign Nationals

(NOPORN) Not Pornography

(PORN) (See FOUO)

(TS-SCI) Top Secret – Sensitive Compartmented Information

(TS-CAICI) Top Secret – Crude And Insensitive Compartmented Information

(TS-YCTASCISMSCASD) Top Secret – You Call That A Sensitive Compartment???  I’ve Seen More Sensitive Compartments At State Department

(TS-MCETC) Top Secret – Mi Compartment Es Tu Compartment

(TS-FELO) Top Secret – For Executive Leaking Only

(W) Whatever

*

Classics of Modern Philosophy Repackaged

It can be proven mathematically that the central proposition underlying any philosophical paradigm has a corresponding romance novel cover.

... And yes, I'm working on the romance novel cover for this proof even as we (passionately and breathlessly) speak.

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Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says ‘I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic’ like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: Proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers go to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US Military personnel.  ... And you're right lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)