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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.) December in Russia. As always, Edward remains snowed in. ● There’s who you spy for, and there’s who you spy on. Don’t confuse them (they’re bewildered enough as it is.)
●
Social Criticism
Certification “_____ is another manifestation of the systemic
_____ inherent in _____ culture.” Instructions: 1. Fill in each blank above with
a randomly selected word or phrase. 2. Post on social media.
Congratulations,
you are now a certified social critic!
●
I deny aiding the enemy. As for abetting the enemy, I won every wager. ● Actually, you’ll probably roll down the hill
before dying, but I think we understand what you mean.
Executive
Intelligence Summary Socialism, fascism, tourism – all the monolithic ideologies are basically the same. – My War On Terror!
My in-laws don’t know I work for CIA – although
they do ask why sections of my family’s Christmas letter are blacked out
every year.
●
SpookSpeak.
Hard target n. 1. A target who is difficult to access and/or
recruit. 2. A target who is not difficult to access and/or recruit.
● That DC
pizzeria that was alleged to be a front for the debunked ‘Pizzagate’
conspiracy theory: how do they still not have a ‘Deep State Deep
Dish’ pizza on their menu???
● You could do
worse than be dumbfounded and flabbergasted. You could be dumbgasted and
flabberfounded.
● Nobody wants to
culturally appropriate long division.
Executive
Intelligence Summary “What makes you think the whole world revolves
around you?!” my mother demanded, as I slowly rotated my gaze to
maintain eye contact.
One upside of climate change: less cold for a
spy to come in from.
●
SpookSpeak. SINGINT n.
Singles intelligence. Information collected by unattached CIA officers
regarding other unattached CIA officers. Sometimes confused with SIGINT
(signals intelligence), the two disciplines being similar in
pronunciation and sharing numerous common practices.
● Eating lunch
BEFORE I go to the cattle auction today. Not making the same mistake
this time.
● If I was one of
those patients who saw visible healing of their intestinal lining, I’d
be like ‘Thank you sooo much, but ew.’ ● It can’t be a midlife crisis if it kills you
instantly.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
You say
‘psychosexual’ like there’s some other kind.
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