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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

 

 

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Intelligence Community redundancy of the day: lipstick pistol.

● Saw a headline in the Washington Post this morning: ‘CIA Rocked By Exposé.’

Having attended their lunchtime concert at Langley yesterday, I can confirm that the Post is dead-on: those ladies can still bring it like they did back in the 1980’s!

● I bet the statement ‘It behooves you to wear this’ always gets a laugh during pony play.

● I put a crawl tube from the foot of my bed to my closet. Let the monsters fight it out.

● How often are we reminded that what truly matters in life can’t be quantified (I’m talking about annual per capita reminders, to two decimal points).

Executive Intelligence Summary

Not to make everything about me. – God, creating humans in his own image

                 

*

 

Historically, Vienna has been considered the espionage capital of the world, owing to the presence there of spies from dozens of intelligence agencies seeking to determine why Vienna is considered the espionage capital of the world.

Insurgent officer in the Congo taking the names of recruits: Nom de guerre?

Insurgent named de Guerre: Oui.

● You just know the singer Randy VanWarmer was a randy van warmer.

● To die while one is putting things into perspective really puts putting things into perspective into perspective.

● How am I supposed to feel motivated to attend the empowerment seminar, unless I first feel empowered to attend the motivational seminar???

Executive Intelligence Summary

This shadow ban called life.

          

*

  

Stop me if you’ve officially never heard this one. – Briefing the National Security Council

● I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways.

… For example, could he at least blur the video when I’m naked. – Hotel room, Beijing

Even if I did create them myself, I still think I’m doing pretty well under the circumstances.

● ‘Standoffish’ sounds bad until you consider the alternative.

● You don’t ‘enter’ the portal, you are the portal. – Some major porthole

Executive Intelligence Summary

Better to turn a blind eye, than a blocked nasal cavity.

                      

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